Rang the Bell…& we begin again
Hi all! It’s been a while…a long while. Summer has gotten the best of my time and before I knew it, it was August 1st and the last month of summer.
My mom and I took the boys down to La Jolla for a few days with some good friends. We laid by the beach, kayaked and had amazing beach BBQs every night. We celebrated the 4th with good friends in true Huntington style - bike ride and all. We missed our annual 5k with our friends as I wasn’t feeling well but I rallied!
We rang the radiation bell and completed 30 rounds of radiation on July 7th. The boys got to come to meet the radiation therapists and partake in the last day festivities.
Then the wheels came off the track. The same day I completed radiation, my oncologist called me with concerns about my blood test. My liver enzymes were incredibly high - they ordered more tests and put the oral chemo on hold…until we knew more.
Of course, this Cancer journey has come fresh with new worries of more cancer, spreading to other organs. Long story short, i was experiencing drug induced liver injury. The toxicity from the chemo and the herbs I had been taking to help calm the chemo side effects was too much for my liver to handle. I was pissed, upset, frustrated with everything including myself, to make it to this point.
I’ve stuck to the plan, we haven’t strayed from the plan. This felt like a ton of bricks came down on me. The worst part was the doctors didn’t know how long it would take for my body to heal and be strong enough to restart the chemo.
We had big plans for the summer and did our best to stick to them. We spent a wonderful week in Seattle with the Wilson family- it was the first time we were all together since Christmas 2018. My body was so tired and drained but it felt so good to be with my sisters (through marriage but often feels like blood), our nieces, nephews, Marc's brothers and parents. The boys camped outside, I went to my first Mariners game (after 16 years of going to Seattle with Marc) and watched a movie under the stars in the forest. It was magical.
We rounded out the month dreading my birthday. The 36th trip around the sun sucked. I lost myself, my hair, my “normal” appearance and my physical strength. But as I reflected on this last year, I realized I’ve gained so much too. As ugly as it may seem at times especially in 2020, I’ve learned there is so much love and goodness in this world. Friends, family and my work colleagues, present and former, young and old, near and far have shown up and continue to show up. The grace and goodness of our village is beyond anything I could ever have hoped for. In scary and very uncertain times, people show up for you. And it’s the most amazing gift I could ever receive.
My girlfriends showed up for me on my birthday when all I wanted to do was lay in bed. We played tennis with silly crowns and had an amazing evening hanging out on the water.
This week continues with birthday lunches with my girls and dinner with my best friend from college- who is still in my phone as “Roomie”. Last night I told her we’ve officially known each other for half our lives. Officially old lol.
Marc and I went to the beach tonight and it was the most peaceful moment to reflect after this whirlwind of a month.
While this last year has brought challenges I would have never expected, I have more love in my heart, and am stronger than I’ve ever been. This last month has showed me there is a light at the end of this long fucked up tunnel. I was so pissed about my chemo schedule being broken that I didn’t realize I’d get the chance to see that my body can recover and can heal. That I will be ok and we will get through this.
So we begin again. I met with my specialists today and got the green light to resume the oral chemo. My liver counts are closer to normal and they feel confident that it will continue to normalize. My end date has pushed 4 weeks as of now, and we have to closely monitor my blood work every 2 weeks. But- I got 4 weeks off and started to feel a little bit better, stronger, and clearer.
Thank you all for all that you do- your messages, caring for the boys and picking me up repeatedly over the last 10 months means more than I could ever express. May this 37th year bring news of being officially “cancer free”!
