The Boob is Angry
I should have started a list of the weirdest stuff I’ve heard while undergoing treatment. Today’s quote from one of the radiation oncology nurses however, was quite fitting for a Monday.
I checked #20 off the list today of the laser beams (as they are referred to in our house) - 10 more to go! 5 of the 10 are a “systemic” treatment where they treat the entire breast and lymph nodes. the final 5 are considered a booster treatment, focused on the area where the tumor was.
This past month has gone so fast and so slow. Daily trips to Newport have seemed to consume any ounce of free time. The positives have been:
- I’ve made a record time to hoag in 13 minutes
- I get to drive down the coast every morning during my favorite time of year (♥️ June gloom)
- I’ve gotten to tack on catch ups with friends in Lido
- I’ve been able to start to respond to some of you! I appreciate all of the check ins and love- I am soooo behind on catching up with everyone!
The concept of radiation is pretty cool- I continue to be in awe of science and the advances we’ve made in medicine. My skin has held up fairly well- thanks mama Feldmar for the Palestinian influenced olive skin. But as we round the corner to the last 10 sessions, my body is angry.
The oral chemo - aka the poison pills Xeloda- have taken a far greater toll than i expected. I have finally started to adjust my expectations to what my body has been able to do thus far, and have finally realized it won’t be back to “my normal” for quite some time. Still, I’ve been able to start back at workouts, played in a tennis tournament and swam laps for the first time in 3 years! It’s not ideal but it’s a huge accomplishment. I was pissed at the doctors as I felt like they sold me on life getting back to normal on Xeloda. I’ve been gently reminded by pretty much everyone my normal is not actually normal. So there you have it. I’m learning to slowly adjust expectations and celebrate the positives.
There are parts of my body that are showing signs of healing. I’m building up my stamina (at a turtles pace) and my hair is growing back! My eyebrows and eyelashes have pretty much completely grown back.
But I am still in active treatment. It’s much less impactful that IV chemo but it’s still active treatment. So I’m trying very hard (with the help of Marc, my family, my amazing therapist and my close friends) to remind myself that each day I get up, work, get a little exercise and get to spend time with my friends and family is a HUGE win. It may not be my old normal, but it’s a new normal I’m trying to accept.
Happy 1st day of summer! all of my love and thanks for the continued prayers and check ins throughout this journey.
