Leaps of faith

We spend our adult lives working towards a goal or an ideal that we set forth for ourselves and self-ordained to be how we measured our personal success. Those ideals may have been cast when we were running away from a painful past, or set as unrealistic expectations of how we measured happiness. Some of us get lucky enough to experience "second chance at life". You see this in social media where people are trying to find the silver lining of an unfortunate circumstance, like losing something treasured or being diagnosed with a chronic illness. The posts are littered with "I am thankful this {insert traumatic event} happened to me".

The last 3 years have delivered a roller coaster of twists and turns that I never thought could be possible when I structured my goals of defining what success as an adult would look like. I've experienced the pain, the trauma and my world being flipped upside down, and have yet to make sense of the "I am so thankful for this experience". Truth be told, I am not thankful at all. I am angry and upset. I am also raw with emotion. I experience love more fully than I ever thought possible. I have picked myself up after the gut-wrenching pain that splits you in half.

3 years ago I would have never considered sharing my experiences and starting a blog. But 3 years ago I couldn't have imagined my professional career, my identity, would be flipped upside down, get diagnosed with an aggressive cancer in the midst of a pandemic and try to make sense of the person that came out of the other side.

This is my leap of faith- starting this blog and sharing with all of you that IT IS OK NOT TO BE OK. It is ok to have these deep, intense emotions and to honor your pain. {I think} it is ok to pivot your life, even at 36 with a family and established career. Life is full of pain. But it is full of beauty. The painful parts allow us to experience and feel the beauty of life so much more fully. Thank you for reading and jumping on this journey with me.