Aces & faults

It’s funny how the more time you spend around a particular interest, the more you can frame certain life’s lessons around it. I’ve been spending a lot more time on the tennis court this week. The tennis court used to be my safe haven, my center, my balance.

Growing up, I faced my worst enemy and my toughest critics on that concrete surface. In my teenage years when everything else was turning sideways, that court with a neon yellow bouncing ball would guide me back to myself. And the one day, it didn’t.

I grew so resentful of the sport that brought me life and peace simultaneously I walked away from it altogether. I literally left it on the court and left the balls to rot and die for 18 years.

The pandemic and a friend pulled me back to the court. I felt betrayed in some way by a sport I once loved; what once was a sanctuary became a place of anxiety and frustration. When I walked away I thought I could never return and it would never be the same

One thing held true- it would never be the same. This is a theme I continue to struggle with throughout my life. Things won’t be the same again. But it’s the differences that matter. I got the opportunity to help coach last summer and it changed my perspective.

This court no longer needed to be my sanctuary- instead it became a place of bonding and mentoring. Friendships to be made and growth to be had. As I took a step back from my 500mph fast paced life, I realized there were more doors to be opened. One that included spending more time being a guide and a mentor to the next generation- the next group of women that will rise long after we retire and grow old.

So this week I’ve finally seen this court though a new set of eyes. Aces being served are filled with pride and empowerment. The faults bring opportunities for growth and improvement. These same acts carried so much power in how I viewed my own success- whether I was crushing it or failing depending on the scoreboard that day.

Throughout life, we will serve aces and we will double fault. They are not mutually exclusive of one another. These outcomes also don’t dictate our worth, our value or our contribution of the day. They simply teach us where we can improve, and where we can beat our chest to say, “damn I worked hard and it really paid off.”