Progress isn’t always a straight line

Last week was one of those weeks. I completed the 4th cycle of AC (Adriamycin / Cytoxan) and found myself back at Hoag to get progress scans. I felt so confident - I felt like crap, the tumor appeared to be physically smaller- how could this not be working?

A simple ultrasound turned into a 2+ hour appointment that ended abruptly with news that the tumor appeared larger than it did in October, and I would have to discuss next steps with my dr. 

Well you know me and my type A self was less than pleased. I was hangry, tired and late for conference calls so I put aside my frustration to try to make it home and process.

I am so thankful for my care team- my Oncologist called the following morning, and I spoke to my surgeon Tuesday evening. We lined up an MRI for Wednesday - they understood my frustration, and also expected to see better results after 4 cycles.

Last Wednesday marked 2 months  of life with cancer - it was surprisingly very emotional to have to undergo another MRI and yet another IV. A glass of wine with a very good friend and holiday errands with Marc really helped calm my hot mess self following the MRI. 

My oncologist called the next morning to tell me the MRI showed very positive progress. The MRI is able to differentiate between dead cells and live cells whereas the ultrasound only shows total mass. We are blessed with amazing insurance that we were able to get an MRI so quickly to get a better understanding of how the tumor is reacting. 

So I find myself back here at the oncologist to discuss next steps. We are on track to begin round 2 of chemo on 12/28 - 12 weekly low dose treatments of taxol and carboplatin. They are very happy with progress so far, so we are moving ahead with the original treatment plan as designed. It’s more tolerable in some ways but really shitty in others. Nice little Christmas gift to get a few extra days of feeling good 🎉🎄

The back half of 2019 had been a rollercoaster for me professionally. Many of you know I made the decision to pivot back into consulting and kicked off 2020 returning to the firm that I worked with after graduating from Santa Clara. When I was diagnosed, I was very firm about continuing to work. Even though it’s a relatively new job, I love my work and have always felt it can serve as a good distraction. Head down, look ahead (but not too far ahead). Just move through the next hurdle in front of you. 

Amidst it all, last week we got to celebrate my promotion to Associate Director. 

I have been blessed to be back with a great company that has been nothing but supportive and there for me during this unknown period. Through covid and 2020, I feel blessed to have been welcomed back into the fold at Protiviti with open arms. I’ve really enjoyed pivoting back into consulting at this time in my career. I have loved working with multiple clients and various teams. I cannot express how blessed I feel to have the work-life balance and flexibility to be able to battle this illness and take care of my family while being able to keep doing what I love. 

✨Many Christmas wishes to all of you and your families. Wishing you all peace, love and lots of joy and we end this year and kick off a new, hopefully brighter, year. ✨